Relationships Are, and Always Will Be, Work
Love often blossoms from attraction, but maintaining connection in a relationship may not come easily. There are many reasons for this, chief among them being the human condition. People are broken, even when they’re in relatively “good shape”. We are imperfect and make mistakes. It’s a challenge to be in close quarters with anyone.
A romantic relationship of intimacy is a combination of bodies and minds, the result being a closer connection than almost any other relationship. As a result, you and your spouse will likely be quite open with one another. This will result in beautiful closeness, but it also means the flaws you both have will come into conflict with one another.
To rise above this simple human reality will require decisive action. You will have to decide, every day, to love your partner. This will take work, but as you both do this, ultimately you’ll find a deeper love than even your first fiery attraction; the kind of love that puts another person above one’s own life. That’s quite deep, and is totally achievable—with work.
- Actually Listen
Listen to your significant other just how you would have them listen to you. Hear what they’re saying, and why they’re saying it. Put yourself in their shoes, and really try to get outside your head when you do so. As you do this, they’ll pick up on it, and begin to reciprocate—ideally, anyway. Not all relationships are perfect, but when you work at them, they blossom. - Do Little Things Without Being Asked
You know what he needs, you know what she needs, you know what he wants, you know what she wants; you both know each others’ blind spots. So why do you let the blind spots remain blind?
Why not fill in the gaps, and be complementary in your relationship? When your partner sees you doing little chores because you care for them, that has a profound effect.
- Make a Grand Romantic Gesture
Beyond subtle things which may not be immediately evident to your partner, it may be necessary to take steps that visibly make a statement. These can be quite beautiful, memorable tactics. Check out these lovely romantic gestures to help stimulate your imagination if you’re having trouble coming up with just the right move. - Learn Their “Love Language”
The “love language” of some people is touch. For others, it’s a physical thing like food or clothes. Others just want to be heard, and others want to be spoken to. Everybody has their own love language; usually fitting in one of five categories, according to the experts. Find that of your spouse, and learn how to be “fluent” in their “love language”.
- Put Your Significant Other First
Love puts “others” before “self”. If you really want to show affection for your spouse, then put their needs before your own. Again, just like with listening, the more you do this, the more they’ll catch on and reciprocate.
Achieving and Maintaining That Comfortable Chemistry
Strong relationships are hard work but can be achieved. Put your partner first, learn their love language, make some grand romantic gesture, do little things you know they appreciate, and truly listen. Such steps help even good relationships get better.
